Promotion for the new sci-fi-come-romance-come-philosophy octet of books by Alan's Album Archives
*Endurance*Insurgence*Province*Ensconce*Abundance*Obedience*Experience*Maintenance
Hello, Human prey, prepare to die! Whoops sorry, I
mean hello dear potential customers and welcome to your next potential
purchase( I always get those two muddled up somehow). Welcome to day three of
the ‘Kindred Spirits’ promotional blitz. My name is Bash! and I’m
^£%£^$*%*&()*%&**%^**(%%£”excited to meet you all! Welcome to the
blood-red seas of Agrosia and behold the remains of our once glorious empire!!!
In my day I was a much feared Agrosian warrior – mostly reformed nowadays,
though once I was $£^$^$**(( scary!!!! I’m your third host and I’m here to tell
you all about the re-issue of third ‘Kindred Spirits’ book ‘Province’, which has been brought to life
thanks to the amazing talents of a Human illustrator. She’s
$$”^£^£$£”&*()*&&**%%$%$£ brilliant! She’s really captured both the
fierce fighter I used to be and my calmer cuter fluffier modern self all in one!!!!!! How did we end up so £”%£^$&(*(^& peaceful?
Well, it all started back in the 20th century when you Humans sent a
probe over to us (Voyager I think it was) containing directions to Earth, information
on all your various Human weaknesses (so very kind of you!) and some classical
music that was so awful we took it as an act of war (though we quite liked the
Chuck Berry and hoped he’s write us our new national anthem). It looked as if
it’s going to be easy, given that you were in political disarray when the only
person to match our great warriors is a lone weedy worrier Humrasianart hybrid
by the name of Eleron and a cabinet of hopeless and lazy aliens who all seem to
be in the wrong jobs. Not a match for our $£%£^$£&%$& glorious Agrosian
armies!!!! However it didn’t quite turn out that way we planned it to. It's
a thoughtful philosophical book all about boundaries and what happens when
people and armies break them. With scenes of lots of noisy destruction!!! Want to know more? Then check out the video by another Human
friend of ours (he’s supremely ^%$£^£$&%*)*(%$£ talented too!) Want to know
even more? Then stop bothering me and read the &%%£^£&$*%* book! It’s
out now for Kindle and in paperback so you have no excuse!!!!
You can buy the e-book here https://bit.ly/4iY7CyT or the paperback here https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0F1LLSWJY No I don’t know
why they aren’t %£^£^& listed together either – I shall have
%£&$£^&$£& words with Amazon later!!!
Remember, the future starts here. But if you can’t
wait for tomorrow for more Kindred Spirits-related weirdness then come visit
the website www.kindredspiritbooks.blogspot.com
(you can even find out which alien you most resemble in our fun quiz. I hope it’s
me!), buy the ‘Kindred Spirits’ merch that will hopefully eventually turn up at
Redbubble when they get their ^$$£”% act together www.redbubble.com/people/AlansArchives
(we weren’t allowed to make any spears available sadly, in case your infants hurt
themselves but there is a laptop case with my face on it for when you want to
slam yours against the %$£%$£&*%*&( wall – I know what you Humans are
like!) Or if you want to do things the easy way just look out for one of the
Mekkion time-travel machines from the future! Or of course you could just immerse
yourself in eleven whole other worlds by buying the e-books, paperbacks or the
two compendiums over at Amazon Convergence I: rebrand.ly/yoleg4l
Convergence II: rebrand.ly/izcovt7 though mine is the “”!^£$&$&
best obviously!!! (plus they’re
all free for Kindle Unlimited users. What, free?! Not even a Human sacrifice or
two? What amazing value!)
Goodbye for now Human. Remember make your future
decisions wisely or the glorious might of the Agrosian empire might be invading
you sooner than you think and this might be a $£$£^%$&&& different
story next time round…
*Intensely stares at computer screen waiting for a deep connection, to both universal internet and potential reader*
Cosmic greetings to you brethren! Welcome to day two of the ‘Kindred Spirits’ promotional blitz. Come in to my Mrasianart music room and put your feet up by my tuba. Yes you’re on Mras now. Nice and warm isn’t it? No that’s not a typo by the way, it’s not ‘Mars’; we’re a long way from your solar system, in fact other at the opposite end of the universe – we are there, you just haven’t discovered us yet, that’s all. Gosh what weird legs you Humans have, I bet you can’t even play music with them. How did any species ever evolve without the in-built ability to carry their music around with them everywhere? I’m Auberon by the way, pleased to meet you. I guess I’m what you Humans might call a grasshopper with ideas above my station. No, don’t reach for the fly-swat! I’m peaceful, honest!
I have chosen you to impart this special message because your chakras seem particularly wide open to understanding the urgency of intergalactic contact and peace in the times to come. I know first-hand how dangerous people can be to off-worlders they don’t understand them but you seem different, more evolved somehow. That’s why I’m here you see, to prepare you for what’s to come in another hundred years or so, thanks to my role as second host of the ‘Kindred Spirits’ series celebrating the re-issue of the entire 8 volume scifi-romance-action-comedy-philosophy series ‘Kindred Spirits’ now available for kindle and in paperback with new illustrations by an amazingly talented artist from your planet Earth (I’ve never known such a rueles-coloured aura in a Human before, but I sense a part of it in a lot of you Human viewers I’m speaking to too: you’re very open-minded and big-hearted I can tell. Which of course is why you’re all going to buy lots of books!) I’m from second book ‘Insurgence’, in which a Human named Eleanor comes to my planet to escape Earth because she’s heard it’s a spiritual haven full of fortune-tellers, tarot readers, tranquillity, equality and music. She’s pretty wonderful: I couldn’t ask for a better guitar accompanist or a better mother to our hybrid child, Eleron. Exactly the sort of brave, kind, resilient soul who gives me faith in other people. Harmony that’s all both of us had ever wanted in every meaning of the word – and we had it for a blissful while there too. Only our new president Almathea is too busy learning from Human history how to be a prejudiced tyrant hoarding things for himself. Good job we put our Intergalactic Peace Orchestra together to make our voices heard about what the people really think away from the lies and propaganda – though how well that goes you’ll have to read for yourself. As a bonus our future intergalactic best-seller includes a sneak preview of the 23rd century’s biggest hits ‘We Reach Out’ and ‘We Are All One Universe (And We’re Only 87 Quadzillion Light Years Apart’). Or you can have a watch of the ‘Insurgence’ video by another very talented Human creative (Wow two of you - I’ve never known such wide open chakras in a species that weren’t Mrasianarts before!)
You can buy it here, in ebook or in paperback formats. Sadly no 3rd century holovision editions around yet but you've got that to look foward to! amzn.to/4bZ1VOR
Remember, the future starts here. But if you can’t wait for tomorrow then come visit the website www.kindredspiritbooks.blogspot.com (you can even find out which alien you most resemble in our fun quiz!), buy the ‘Kindred Spirits’ merch to be added as soon as our century’s timeline synchronises with yours at www.redbubble.com/people/AlansArchives (who wouldn’t want a Mrasianart Universal case, sorry mobile phone case?! Although sadly there are no musical instruments available with my face on as yet – I so love the wazullah!) Or if you want to do things the easy way just look out for one of the Mekkion time-travel machines from the future! Then again you could just immerse yourself in eleven whole other worlds by buying the e-books, paperbacks or the two compendiums over at Amazon Convergence I: rebrand.ly/yoleg4l Convergence II: rebrand.ly/izcovt7 (plus they’re all free for Kindle Unlimited users, where they can nestle against your other books in perfect harmony). Right, that is my mission of peace over. Another alien will be along to meet you tomorrow. Farewell dear Human! Till we meet again. Remember always reach out in the darkness to help a friend – and always be aware that while there’s a lot of darkness in space oh those beautiful starry flecks of hope shine so brightly…
*click whirr buzz* Your facebook timeline has now been
intercepted by a signal from the 25th century. We apologise for possible
promotional weirdness happening over the next 11 days.
Welcome fellow clan-members and strange-looking Humans in the
21st century (you guys look so funny without the extra robotic limbs you have
in the future!) and a very warm friendly welcome from Zigorous 3! I’m Lizzie
the Clandusprod and you lucky lucky people have been specially chosen by us
from the future for an 11 day promotional blitz to help prepare you for future
alien contact.
You see, some previously published friends have regenerated! The
entire 8 volume scifi-romance-action-comedy-philosophy series ‘Kindred Spirits’
has now been upgraded and re-issued for kindle and in paperback with new
illustrations by an amazingly talented Human artist friend of ours. She really
captured my dress sense and my spots – my artistic cave-clan on Zigorous 3 is
thrilled to make her an honorary member!
I’m the star of ‘Endurance’, book one of the series, where I
die, fall in love, write a best-selling collaborative book, make first
intergalactic contact and save two planets (and in that order too – I never do
anything easy!) I’d love to have you read all about it and meet the
Clandusprods and the ten other alien species. Anyway why listen to me when you
can just watch the video all about it? This was made by another amazingly
talented Human friend of ours and it will tell you all you need to know (he has
been warmly welcomed as an honorary member of the Clandusprod promotional
cave-clan!)
or in paperback in a
special super colourised edition here https://www.amazon.co.uk/Endu.../dp/B0F1LJNM5J/ref=sr_1_2...
or you can take a look at the whole series here https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0DYNQ5VZC...
Don’t ask me why the links aren’t listed on the same page. It might be a quirk
of Amazon publishing – or a side-effect of the nexus causal we’ve had to open
up to contact you from your distant future!
Remember, the future starts here, but if you can’t wait for that
then come visit the website www.kindredspiritbooks.blogspot.com
(you can even find out which alien you most resemble in our fun quiz!), buy the
‘Kindred Spirits’ merch which will be added just as soon as our Redbubble page
gets their act together (more side effects of time-travelling but they look
great honest. Who wouldn’t want a Clandusprod cushion?!) Or if you want to do
things the easy way just look out for one of the Mekkion time-travel machines
from the future! Or of course you could just immerse yourself in eleven whole
other worlds by buying the two compendiums over at Amazon Convergence I: rebrand.ly/yoleg4l Convergence II: rebrand.ly/izcovt7(plus they’re all free for Kindle Unlimited users, I’ve heard
how big you Humans are on money so what an intergalactic bargain that is)
Nice to have met you all, you Humans don’t seem all that bad
despite your intergalactic reputation. I shall hand you over to one of my alien
colleagues tomorrow. Till then, remain peaceful – and remember to be explorers,
not pirates! I now return you to your regularly scheduled timeline. Yours
spottily, Lizzie
Formerly fierce warriors from the planet Agrosia ruled by their Queen Calixta, since her defeat they have become hard working citizens of the universe renowned for their building skills. After centuries of breeding, however, many still have a temper. They are red, short, fluffy and cute looking, though they are very much not! The Agrosians arrive (and how!) in book three 'Province'.
The Argibraffes:
Not much is known about these creatures yet – they just turned up one day on Habridas. They resemble dogs with long necks and snouts, but since emigrating to other planets many have developed different colourings including spots, stripes and – on parts of Earth - tartan. Though effectively pets, many are showing strong signs of intelligence in the past couple of centuries and becoming sentient. One even starts talking in book six 'Obedience'.
The Belobrats:
One of the oldest species in the known universe from the planet 'Hellosphere', The Belobrats have long secretly considered themselves the universe’s natural rulers. Though they consider themselves shy and reticent, the rest of the species have other ideas and consider them bossy and more than a little egocentric. This may be due to their trio of heads, unique in the universe, where one head is always controlling their 'ego', another their 'thoughts' and another their 'social' instincts; with so much confusion between their three selves the Belobrats often get their social niceties wrong.
The Camalosians:
More reserved than the rest of the known galaxy, the Camalosians from Camalosia tend to speak in extraordinary elongated sentences. They love paperwork, being known throughout the species as the universe's best lawyers, tending to aspire to positions of great authority. They are biologically similar to Earthly reptiles like chameleons, but have much shorter tongues and come in a variety of colours rather than simply green, with different layers of skin that they shed as they age.
The Clandusprods:
The first aliens we meet, from the planet Zigorous 3, so named after the three suns that circle their world, the Clandusprods are known for being friendly and kind. Their social system is a cross between socialism and Marxism and there is much emphasis on community, with Clandusprod young divided into different clans depending on their aptitude at an early age. Zigorous 3 is covered in caves and the vast majority of clandusprods retain them for their homes. However far from being Neanderthal they are second only to the Mekkions in terms of technology, using solar-powered crystals for most of their inventions. Their appearance is similar to milky-tea coloured long-necked spotted giraffes, but they tend to be much larger and rounder and their hide much thicker to keep out the harmful rays of the sun. Many in both genders enjoy knitting after they reach the age of the Clanopause, while many adult Clandusprods become Sprodparents.
The Doosbury Giants:
The gourmands of the galaxy, the Doosburys from Dooseus tend to refer to themselves as just that, but the moniker 'Doosbury Giants' has stuck since a chance encounter in the myths and legends of the Belobrats. Gentle giants, with a large calorie intake due to being born on a gas giant planet, Doosberries tend to underestimate their own strength and are calm, caring creatures who can always be relied upon in a crisis (even if, compared to the rest of the universe, they tend not to be that bright). They are twice the size of the next biggest creatures in the universe (Clandusprods) and spend much of their spare time eating or swapping recipes.
The Glabdihardits:
Small pika-like rodent creatures from a planet once ruled by now-extinct giant slugs, Glabdihardits are the survivors of the galaxy having gone from being the smallest of many creatures on their home planet Glabdihardis to the only species left alive. Though larger than they used to be, they remain the smallest creatures in the known universe and are still more than a little wary of all the other beings that now exist. Though friendly, they are naturally fearful and reluctant to get involved in the affairs of other planets. Their past times consist of hiding under tables, eating vegetables and running away from loud noises.
The Habridats:
The Habridats of Habridas have a habit of passing through life at a relaxed pace and doing as little work as possible while enjoying practical jokes. Scholars have wondered if this is because their planet is so close to their sun that it is always hot on their planet. They were once voted ‘funniest aliens of the 24th century’ but were too lazy to accept the award. They are slightly larger than Humans and appear like giant beakless birds, with exotic plumages of feathers.
The Humans:
(Nearly) hairless apes with a tendency to start wars, Humans are the youngest species in the known galaxy and are still considered a little immature by their peers - not least for their continued insistence on outdated social systems, monarchies, governments, tribal wars and environmental chaos. All that notwithstanding, their planet Earth is a known hotspot for intergalactic travelling due to its natural beauty and variety. Their music, particularly that of the 1960s, is also widely regarded as the peak of art and culture anywhere in the known universe.
The Maggrumphs:
Residents of the planet Maggrumphus, the Maggrumphs are often called the 'old codgers' of the universe behind their backs due to their tendency to be abrupt, their beliefs in tradition and their long-standing social systems built on the art of complaints rather than conversation. Their language is less developed than most with each family speaking only in their own ‘rhymes’. Humanoid in appearance except for the giant antlers that stretch out of the back of their heads.
The Mekkions:
Not much is known about the Mekkion’s early years, but some cosmic disaster in their earlier years led them to experiment with genetic engineering and technology, creating part-robot hybrids. The Mekkions are strong logical thinkers who struggle to cope with their emotions (it tends to wear their batteries down and in extreme cases blow their fuses) and are experts at technology, with inventions that have enabled the species to talk to one another and eradicate most illnesses and social problems. The Mekkions emigrate to a new planet every time they use up its natural resources and so far have reached as far as ‘Mekkion 11'. Mekkions also travel about using built-in wheels, which are wheely great fun.
The Mrasianarts:
The deep-thinkers of the universe, introvert invertebrates, the Mrasianarts (from the planet Mras) are the oldest civilisation discovered to date. A race of free-thinking philosophers interested in spiritualism, they are loved and respected for their open minds and their wisdom, accessed on their planet through their invention 'the universal', an extended version of the internet which is connected to by all species and 'borrowed' by many others. Their culture, particularly their music, is perhaps the greatest in the universe and admired by many. Mras is the planet that has perhaps been most affected by the discovery of other aliens as Mrasianarts are so unused to the concepts of greed and dishonesty that they can be easily manipulated by others, while they largely gave up on the concept of capitalism long ago. Physically they are giant chitinous insects, tall and thin with wings and can play music with their back legs like grasshoppers and levitate.
Prepare yourself for a book series that takes you 'out of this world' - all you have to do is open up a book or a kindle!
We have lift off...in March! A whole new era will be underway for the 'Kindred Spirits' universe, with the publication of book 8 'Maintenance' and re-issues of the first seven volumes with brilliant new illustrations by the super talented 'Under A Dreamer's Moon'. The future starts here...again!
So why not get yourself prepared for what's coming and find yourself a nice cosy beverage (Clandusprod tea?), a nice cosy space (like the one above) and some nice playlists (Jefferson Starship's 'Blows Against The Empire' is a good start or why not check the heck out the Kindred Spirits playlist at the Alan's Album Archives channel on Youtube? https://www.youtube.com/@AlansArchives) and escape into a series of new worlds (Because this one really isn't much fun at present!) The future starts here...Again!
Say hello to (1-r, top-bottom) the Agrosians, Camalosians, Belobrats, Clandusprods, Maggrumphs, Argibraffes, Glabdihardits, Mekkions, Habridats, Mrasianarts and Doosbury Giants!
You've already read the first seven volumes (and if not why not? No don't read them now, wait for thew shiny new ones!) Here's what's new in March, in a book for our times (even though it's set in 2630...)
Can Sparky the Mekkion face her fears, dry her deadly tears and re-programme her peers?
Sparky can see the whole of her life laid out before her for the next millennia – that’s how Mekkions like it after all, with a really good job overseeing update ‘patches’ on the intergalactic translation service the Universal, a routine to keep her safe from surprises and a universe that a thousand years on from interstellar contact seems at last to be settling down. She’s as grounded as they come, not least because her wheels cause her to sink lower to the floor than most Mekkions and more interested in profits than prophets. But when her new Boss, an uncaring uncouth Doosbrat named Melon Rusk, takes over her precious ‘Universal’ that’s brought such peace and community and starts using it to attack the new-oldcomers in the universe, the Space Dinosaurs, Sparky discovers her new calling and it’s one that lies in an unseen dimension of faith rather than her reliable logic. Will she be able to save her new friends from persecution? Can she work out what Melon’s plan really is? can she stop Maggrumph Ronald Grump from taking power? Will she ever work out that her pterodactyl boyfriend has feelings for her? Will she ever discover the memory she had removed and feel the feelings she’s suppressed for so long? And will she ever find her life’s porpoise? (Not a typo!) More than just another novel, ‘Maintenance’ is absolutely another mad house, a love song to spirituality and how we are all more than just cogs in a machine, offering hope that one day if we listen to what’s in our hearts and souls rather than seeing the world that’s right in front of us it might just save us all.
A thousand years of war, peace, love and hiccups through the eyes of the first ten children born after intergalactic contact - Maggrumph edition. It's a whole new way of looking at the universe we thought we knew...
Moana was the first Maggrumph to be born in the age of interstellar contact, when the ten great civilisations first made contact with each other. Soon he’s rubbing shoulders with other children from other planets as part of a new holovision series ‘The ITGang’ designed to commemorate this new bold and brilliant future and teach the rest of the universe how such very different and very alien aliens (sorry, ‘off-worlders’) can get along. Soon he’s thrown into a whirlwind of television broadcasts and publicity that he hopes will promote intergalactic brotherhood and friendship but mostly seems to be promoting themselves. Moana doesn’t make friends easily and soon finds himself the odd one out, with a very different vision of what the programme should be to his new friends, Belobrat presenter and HS20 sponsors. For while Moana’s need for honesty and his heart is in the right place his antlers aren’t and a mysterious illness keeps him apart from everyone too, seeing him stuck at home while all his friends go off to enjoy the fruits of the universe. Moana thinks his life is over before it’s begun, but soon he finds he’s right at the heart of all five flashpoints in the universe’s connected intergalactic history: his accident of birth forever linked with the time Enwin and Lizzie revealed to the universe the presence of life on other planets, an onlooker to the riots led by the Intergalactic Peace orchestra on Mras that led to the overthrow of tyrant Almathea, a participant in the Agrosian wars fought by President Eleron, a supporter of the discovery of the poisonous red weed created by unscrupulous companies by the children of Orpheneous and involved the day Earth tyrant Chyren turned the universe upside down. But will the universe listen to a washed-up Maggrumph when he’s needed? Will Moana get the life he craves and find the fulfilment he always dreamed of, with the love of his life and their eleven very different adopted children and pet argibraffe on a whole new planet way out in the countryside, or will life just get in the way again? And what is the mysterious object discovered in the moat next to his house? More than just another novel, ‘Experience’ is yet another mad house, a love song to the ups and downs of life and the hope that one day we can all find our equilibrium and lead a life to look back on and be proud of.
Available to buy on all planets as a paperback or as an e-book
View the trailer here:
Missed the first six volumes? You can buy five of them all together in one handy guide to all the flash-points of saving the universe over the next 500 years with 'Convergence' and read about many of the events in this book from a very different perspective
Plus volume six 'Obedience' -
An Argibraffe? At university?!? A space war?!?!? Crystal Skulls?!?!?!? Space Dinosaurs?!?!?!?!?!? 500 Years on from intergalactic contact and it feels like the universe has gone mad. What it really needs is a re-set button...
Get spending your moolah here! (Most intergalactic currencies accepted - Euros, Dollars, Pounds, Belalira and Universos. sadly not available with Doosbury food vouchers at this time)
Plus which alien are you? Agrosian, Belobrat, Camalosian, Clandusprod, Doosbury Giant, Habridat, Magrumph, Mekkion or Mrasianart?Take our quiz here
