Harrumph! How do, you! You took your time loading this message didn’t you? Hello Humans. What a weird looking bunch you all are with that fuzzy fur stuff sticking out your head, you lot should try some antlers! My name’s Moana which is apt because moaning is my favourite thing. I’m a Maggrumph. I harrumph a lot. Though I’m trying not to – there’s something about rubbing shoulders with the rest of the universe that’s knocking the rough edges off. Eventually. Love helps too – my Clandusprod-hybrid Lisa (as in ‘Moana-Lisa’) has helped bring out a gentler side I didn’t even know was there ‘Experience’ is book 7 in the scifi-romance-comedy-drama-philosophy series ‘Kindred Spirits’ and it’s the most epic love story of them all, one so big we only just managed to fit it into Amazon’s page count!

Anyway yeah, it’s great mate, so buy it, twits. What, you want me to say a bit more? Well ‘Experience follows my adventures across six hundred years (including the events of the first five books). I was one of the first babies to be born in the universe after intergalactic contact was made and one of us from every species was put into a holovision reality TV show ‘The ITGang’ that followed our attempts to get along. Only it didn’t, err, go very well: the Belobrat presenter was only interested I himself, my friends all sold themselves out, I got into trouble for being too ‘honest’ and I got sick and stuck indoors. It all worked out in the end though: I got my dream life (on a farm on an alien planet), my dream job (as a grumpy music reviewer), my dream wife and my brood of adopted alien children. Most of all I learned to stop worrying about keeping up with my peers and to understand that everyone’s life is a little bit different and takes place at different speeds. How? Well you’ll have to watch the video (not bad – given that it was made by a Human) and buy the book, with newly made illustrations (ditto). In fact no more than that both are so good they actually put a smile on my face. Well, briefly. It takes a lot to make a Maggrumph smile, so they must be good!

You can buy ‘Experience’ here: rebrand.ly/5jaypim

Remember, the future starts here. But if you can’t wait for tomorrow then come visit the website www.kindredspiritbooks.blogspot.com (you can even find out which alien you most resemble in our fun quiz!), buy the ‘Kindred Spirits’ merch that will be up at RedBubble when they stop being grumpy www.redbubble.com/people/AlansArchives (what no Maggrumph hat-rack?! I suppose the Human clothes with my face on it are nice though if you like that sort of thing) or if you want to do things the easy way just look out for one of the Mekkion time-travel machines from the future! Or of course you could just immerse yourself in eleven whole other worlds by buying the e-books, paperbacks or the two compendiums over at Amazon (although, harrumph, that’s far too much reading if you ask me!) Convergence I: rebrand.ly/yoleg4l Convergence II: rebrand.ly/izcovt7 One thing I’ll never grumble about, though, is the fact that these books are free if you have a ‘Kindle Unlimited’ subscription!

Well, it passes the time as well as anything I guess, Jess, you may as well give it a whirl boys and girls. Hey I told you I wasn’t very good at promotion. If you thought I messed up wait till you see the other aliens, that’s all I can say! One will be along tomorrow. Worse luck. I think it looks like rain too...

A thousand years of war, peace, love and hiccups through the eyes of the first ten children born after intergalactic contact - Maggrumph edition. It's a whole new way of looking at the universe we thought we knew...

Moana was the first Maggrumph to be born in the age of interstellar contact, when the ten great civilisations first made contact with each other. Soon he’s rubbing shoulders with other children from other planets as part of a new holovision series ‘The ITGang’ designed to commemorate this new bold and brilliant future and teach the rest of the universe how such very different and very alien aliens (sorry, ‘off-worlders’) can get along. Soon he’s thrown into a whirlwind of television broadcasts and publicity that he hopes will promote intergalactic brotherhood and friendship but mostly seems to be promoting themselves. Moana doesn’t make friends easily and soon finds himself the odd one out, with a very different vision of what the programme should be to his new friends, Belobrat presenter and HS20 sponsors. For while Moana’s need for honesty and his heart is in the right place his antlers aren’t and a mysterious illness keeps him apart from everyone too, seeing him stuck at home while all his friends go off to enjoy the fruits of the universe. Moana thinks his life is over before it’s begun, but soon he finds he’s right at the heart of all five flashpoints in the universe’s connected intergalactic history: his accident of birth forever linked with the time Enwin and Lizzie revealed to the universe the presence of life on other planets, an onlooker to the riots led by the Intergalactic Peace orchestra on Mras that led to the overthrow of tyrant Almathea, a participant in the Agrosian wars fought by President Eleron, a supporter of the discovery of the poisonous red weed created by unscrupulous companies by the children of Orpheneous and involved the day Earth tyrant Chyren turned the universe upside down. But will the universe listen to a washed-up Maggrumph when he’s needed? Will Moana get the life he craves and find the fulfilment he always dreamed of, with the love of his life and their eleven very different adopted children and pet argibraffe on a whole new planet way out in the countryside, or will life just get in the way again? And what is the mysterious object discovered in the moat next to his house? More than just another novel, ‘Experience’ is yet another mad house, a love song to the ups and downs of life and the hope that one day we can all find our equilibrium and lead a life to look back on and be proud of.

Available to buy on all planets as a paperback or as an e-book

View the trailer here:

Missed the first six volumes? You can buy five of them all together in one handy guide to all the flash-points of saving the universe over the next 500 years with 'Convergence' and read about many of the events in this book from a very different perspective

Plus volume six 'Obedience' -

An Argibraffe? At university?!? A space war?!?!? Crystal Skulls?!?!?!? Space Dinosaurs?!?!?!?!?!? 500 Years on from intergalactic contact and it feels like the universe has gone mad. What it really needs is a re-set button...

Get spending your moolah here! (Most intergalactic currencies accepted - Euros, Dollars, Pounds, Belalira and Universos. sadly not available with Doosbury food vouchers at this time)